“For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Galatians 5:14
Location: playground at the churchyard
Time: Sunday, 1 PM
Participants: Hóvirág, Hóvirág’s dad, Vince, Vince’s mom, Vince’s dad
“Why is his hand this way?” Hóvirág points at Vince’s hand.
“Because he was born this way. Vince is a handicapped little boy,” I answer.
“Why is he in your lap, why isn’t he walking on his legs?”
After this question my husband puts his hand gently on my shoulder, signaling that it’s time to leave, because this conversation makes no sense. But I don’t give up, I struggle within that we are in a situation like this once more. I am the one who has to explain to these pretty eyes again that there are a lot of different things in life. If I stand up and leave now without answers, Hóvirág may never go up to child ever again who lives with some sort of disability. And Vince learns that he has to go and hide, there is no point in trying to make friends. I take a deep breath and I answer:
“Because he cannot bend his knees and ankles like you. This is why I help him and carry him in my lap. What’s your name?”
“Why isn’t he talking?” she asks.
“What’s your name?” I ask.
“Hóvirág,” she answers.
“You have a very pretty name (Hóvirág means snowdrop in English). This is Vince. He doesn’t talk, because he had a tracheotomy, he breathes with a plastic thing on his neck, and that presses his vocal cords. Vince, will you wave to Hóvirág to say hello?”
Vince waves, but I see in his eyes that he doesn’t understand these questions. But he is happy that a little girl came to see him and he can take a proper look up close.
Hóvirág keeps looking at Vince, she doesn’t understand my answers. She sees that Vince has arms and legs, still, he cannot walk on his own.
“We are heading home for lunch,” I break the silence. “What are you going to do?”
Hóvirág’s eyes are stuck on Vince completely, that’s how she answers: “We are going home to have lunch too.”
We say good-bye to each other, and as we are walking towards the car I notice that Hóvirág is waving and shouting: “Vinceeee! We are going this way tooooo!” and she laughs as she runs to the next family, where she starts another conversation.
We get into the car, we don’t speak to each other, but I know I just established a friendship created 20 years from now between a healthy and a disabled person. My heart is smiling, and I break the silence: “Honey, what was it like getting on the slide with Dad?”
We have been in many similar situations before. There are times when I am not only tired but also filled with emotion when I enter a conversation like this, because the first question is: “Why is his head so big?” But by the end I am always very glad that another connection was made, and Vince could encounter another world, even if for a few minutes only. Connections, relationships – this is what we all desire. Not to be alone. To be able to share our thoughts with other. Not to be afraid of loneliness. How many people suffer from this! And it doesn’t really requires much, only to walk over to someone and ask a question, or share our own thoughts or just give a hug and keep sitting silently. Why are we relationship addicts? Because God is too! And He formed us after His own image, and if we would like, He would give us His own soul, since it’s already a cliché that man doesn’t live with bread alone!
What is the recipe for the love-relationship cookie? It is really simple, pay attention and take notes!
For the pastry:
100 grams of humility
2 tbsp of silence
800 grams of request for absolution
For the filling:
100 g of addressing Jesus
3 pinches of request for eternal life
7 heaping tablespoons of gratitude
1 teaspoon of tenacity
3-4 crumbles of joy to taste
Knead the dough well, roll it out, then put it onto God’s baking sheet. Layer the well-mixed filling on top of it, and you are ready to place it into the oven. Set it to 200 degrees of love-temperature, and bake it for about 20 minutes. Cut it into small pieces, and serve it with friendship-mousse. Bon appétit! It is guaranteed that you will never go hungry!
“But Jesus called the children to him and said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.’” Luke 18:16-17
Vince is a master chef! A natural-born talent! I love how easily and intuitively he forms his relationships. Jesus’ face shines on people through him whom I would have never gotten into such a loving relationship with. Once we were in the waiting room of the hospital in Sanremo, and an elegant lady with red lipstick was sitting across from me. Suddenly she started pulling her lisp left and right, while her eyes were laughing. I was looking at her, thinking ‘why is she doing this to me?’, when Vince started swaying in my lap. I realized that he was practicing “bunny lips” with his mouth on the lady across, which is something her grandpa taught him when he couldn’t give out any sounds. At another time, while lining up in the pharmacy, the security guard came up to us with a face cream sample to give to Vince, because Vince started waving at him. I remember we talked to Anti a lot, and it seemed like we were old friends. And once we went bobsledding, and while we were in line, no one said a word, they simply helped us get into the bob, and then waited at least 10 minutes for us to safely get to the bottom. Some moms came up to us with such joy and asked how it was for Vince, that I felt like we had all the grandmas, aunts, close friends, the physiotherapist, and everyone who zealously desires for Vince to be happy. You see, once you taste God’s love-relationship cookie, its flavor will always stay in your mouth. No matter how much my waist hurts, how much I self-pity I am feeling, how my heart aches seeing the pain Vince is in after a surgery, we must eat, no matter what. I always take a few pieces from the love-relationship cookie.
“But you have planted wickedness, you have reaped evil, you have eaten the fruit of deception. Because you have depended on your own strength and on your many warriors.” Hosea 10:13
