“Blessed is the one whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.”
Job 5:17-18
My son is getting a cast on his leg. He was sitting in his sitting corset at kindergarten when a little girl crashed into him. Vince cannot move his legs or pull them away, his joints are not flexible, and for this reason the bone cracked. I am holding the bandage under the cast so it won’t roll back while the nurse is putting the cast on Vince’s leg. Vince is struggling to hold back his tears, because movement in his leg hurts. The cast hardens, I put Vince onto his wheelchair, and I can barely lift him. He is very heavy! It’s good though that he doesn’t cry at all when I move him, because the injured part is now stabilized. We are on our way home, and while I am driving I think about why this happened to me now. It’s not been a month since the rheumatologist has diagnosed me with rheumatoid arthritis. In the mornings I can barely go and grip things from the pain, then a half an hour passes, and I am okay. I only went to the doctor’s because one morning my fingers were so swollen I couldn’t get Vince dressed, and I got very scared. My morning prayers start by asking for the ability to lift Vince that day without pain, and God gives me this blessing every time! It’s wonderful! But why does He allow this situation to lift Vince’s 42 lbs plus an extra cast with my sore hands? And then as it usually is, self-loathing, despair, anger come next, because the cast has to stay on for two weeks.
I stop human reasoning and start humming Psalms 23. “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me…” But still, I have to lift Vince out of the car soon. And my hand is going to hurt. Alright… Enough of this! Jesus has helped me every time, because He is faithful, why do I still question Him… Because I thought that I have enough problems, I can’t get anymore, and since I walk with God, He won’t allow more. But this is a road that leads astray, because who am I to tell God what He can and cannot allow in my life.
“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”
Psalms 55:22
We can be very feeble while walking with God. We can have a glimpse into God’s immeasurable mercy, and then we only think about ourselves. We can only give human love for God’s love in return, which always expects something. Me! Me! Me! But the sentence should start with Jesus, You! Jesus, You know what’s good for me. I will listen to Your Word and I will trust in You, because you promised me salvation! The Bible teaches us that the Pharisees used to behave like this, because they thought that if they did everything according to God’s laws, then they would be saved. Two thousand years have passed, and people haven’t changed.
Today I can still behave like a Pharisee in a second. But God is a merciful God; His Love cannot be degraded to religious acts. He doesn’t say that if we pray every day and do good deeds, we will steer clear of bad things. He doesn’t say if I nurse my sick child conscientiously and with undiminished strength, then I will be “safe” in the game of tag and no one can catch me. Our Heavenly Father would like to teach us one thing: to open our hearts to His love, give Him the control, and no matter what happens, He will always be there to save us in the difficult situations. In addition, He also promises that we will really get to know Him through these trials and tribulations, because when we allow ourselves to be weak, God can really be strong in our lives.
“My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.”
Psalms 62:7
The following day we are on the way to the hospital again, because they will check if the cast presses anything on Vince’s leg, and they will re-bandage it. I talk to God while I’m driving, I tell Him I know He is with me and He helps me, but I ask Him to help me quickly now, because all I see is that I will have to lift and move Vince on my own for two long weeks. We are so impatient, aren’t we? Vince has only had his cast for a day, and I want immediate solutions, here and now. And I am afraid again, because all I keep saying is that I will have to lift him for two weeks and my hands won’t manage. We can be very arrogant. Then in the hospital they re-bandage the cast, cut it up lengthwise to allow room for the inflammation to heal. The doctor has mercy on me and he doesn’t plan on putting a long-term cast on Vince, but allows the cast to stay sort of like a splint on him for two weeks. This way I can get to Vince’s leg, I can stroke it, massage it a little to avoid water retention due to the stiff position. And at the end of the examination the doctor says that Vince can go to kindergarten, since he is in a wheelchair, he can be among his peers. Halleluiah! Glory to God! So this way the daily lifting and moving gets split, because for half a day the kindergarten teacher and the physiotherapist do it, for half a day, me. ‘So will fifty-fifty be okay?’ Jesus asks. ‘Perfect!’ I answer, and on the way home I call my prayer partner to give thanks for all His care in a joint prayer!
“All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4:15-18
Afterword: Vince got his cast four days ago, nevertheless, my hands don’t hurt. But even if they did, that would only be the “visible – only for the time being” category for God. This time He locked his grace in a cast for me, because He wants to make me understand again in human language that what is impossible for me, with God it is possible indeed.
